Every Wednesday evening I help teach Sharon's religious class. Tonight we learned about reconciliation and went to view where the kids will confess their sins to the priest. While I was walking to the confessional with the group of children a fellow parishioner (whom I've never met before) stopped me and asked if I am strong. I had to think about that for a second.
"Kind of, " I answered. "It depends on what you need."
He said that he needed help carrying a candle from the back of the church to the gym. I figured that I could handle it without any problem and I followed him back to the church. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the candle that he was asking me to carry. It was about 3ft tall and 4 inches in diameter. He handed it to me and I'd say it weighed about 30lbs. Plus, it was awkward.
Just as I was about to walk with it, he informed me to be careful not to tilt it. Apparently, the top is filled with oil. Then he joked, "Father will be really mad if you drop it cause it's a $500 candle. If you do, you'll have to be come a Lutheran." No pressure!!
I slowly carried this cross for a long three minutes from the back of the church to they gym. My left wrist and bicep were burning. Even though I was concerned that I'd spill the oil from top of the candle I knew that I could do this and even felt close to God in doing so.
Two years ago, no one would have ever asked me to help carry anything. They would have been offering to help carry me! It felt great to help someone with a task that they couldn't do on their own. I also find it funny that this guy that I helped out tonight has no idea that I used to use a scooter and the idea of carrying a tiny votive would have freaked me out much less a candle that's half as tall as me. This is going to make me smile for quite some time!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Ms. Mechanic
I have never done any maintenance on a car that I have ever owned. Physically, I could never have done it. I always paid to get my oiled changed and either my dad or Steve would change the car's headlights or add air when my tires were low.
For the past week, I have been driving around town with slightly low tire pressure. The only reason I know this, is because the light on my dash tells me so. Since Steve is still recovering (doing much better, but needs to rest) I thought that I better take care of these tires before I end up on the side of the road with a flat.
A long time ago, Steve put an air pump in the trunk of my car. It has sat there for the past year without my knowledge as to how to use it. On my own, I was able to figure out how to use it and put air in all four tires and check the tire pressure. I know that most of you may be thinking that this isn't a big deal, but to me it is one more thing that I have conquered.
Prior to my diagnosis, I couldn't even stand at the pump to put gas in my car, much less bend over to put air in my tires. My fingers would not have had the dexterity to take the little cap off of the tire thingy (need to work on my car vocab! :) ) to add air. I finally have the physical ability and the confidence to do this on my own. This is a big deal to me. Plus, it is one less thing that I have to rely on Steve for.
So, now that I can add air to my tires, do you think I should change the oil in my car? Nah, I think we all know better than that! :)
Have a great weekend!
For the past week, I have been driving around town with slightly low tire pressure. The only reason I know this, is because the light on my dash tells me so. Since Steve is still recovering (doing much better, but needs to rest) I thought that I better take care of these tires before I end up on the side of the road with a flat.
A long time ago, Steve put an air pump in the trunk of my car. It has sat there for the past year without my knowledge as to how to use it. On my own, I was able to figure out how to use it and put air in all four tires and check the tire pressure. I know that most of you may be thinking that this isn't a big deal, but to me it is one more thing that I have conquered.
Prior to my diagnosis, I couldn't even stand at the pump to put gas in my car, much less bend over to put air in my tires. My fingers would not have had the dexterity to take the little cap off of the tire thingy (need to work on my car vocab! :) ) to add air. I finally have the physical ability and the confidence to do this on my own. This is a big deal to me. Plus, it is one less thing that I have to rely on Steve for.
So, now that I can add air to my tires, do you think I should change the oil in my car? Nah, I think we all know better than that! :)
Have a great weekend!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Not My Turn
My whole life I have been the patient. Growing up my parents took me to more doctor's appointments than I could count (as well as scheduled surgery's). As an adult, either my mom or Steve took me to all my appointments. My parents and Steve were with me when I had to have my Bachlophen Pump implanted and they were there for me last year when I had to have it taken out. It was always me in the hospital bed. I never knew what it was like to be on the other side, until this weekend.
Steve was admitted into the hospital New Years Day with a swollen Epiglottis. The ENT specialist sped the whole way to the hospital and had an OR booked in case he had to put a breathing tube in him. I sat in the uncomfortable chair as Steve lay in the short ER bed thinking that it should be me, not him. The ENT specialist placed a scope down Steve's nose to get a good look at his swollen throat. Luckily for us, it wasn't to the point of sending him to the OR. However, Steve would be placed in the ICU overnight as a precautionary. I was assured that he would be okay. He was given an IV to receive antibiotics and steroids for two days and not allowed to eat (in case they had to put him under). This was all so scary and I didn't have my partner to lean on because this time it was him that needed the help.
I kept thinking the same two things over and over. 1) Please let him be okay. 2) Thank God that I have the physical capabilities to have gotten myself here so I can be with him.
A year and a half ago I could not have parked in the hospital ramp and walked all that way. I was able to be by my husbands side when he needed me (even though he told me I didn't need to be there). I could go get the nurse when he needed something and I could just be there for him.
When I went home that Sunday night, I could tell I was getting a UTI. I called my OB and she sent me to the maternity assessment center at a nearby hospital for lab work. I was exhausted from the unbelievable stressful day I had just had. All I wanted to do was try and get some rest. In times past, it would have been Steve to take me to where I needed to be. I didn't have him though. All I had was myself, but that was okay this time. I had to get there on my own and thanks to my new medication, I could do it on my own (tears and all).
I'm not sure how I would have handled this weekend if I was not on my new medication. The stress of it all would have made my muscles even more unmanageable than ever before. I am blessed in so many ways: my husband is alive and safe and I know that I can take care of him as he has always done for me. Thank you God for these wonderful gifts.
Steve was admitted into the hospital New Years Day with a swollen Epiglottis. The ENT specialist sped the whole way to the hospital and had an OR booked in case he had to put a breathing tube in him. I sat in the uncomfortable chair as Steve lay in the short ER bed thinking that it should be me, not him. The ENT specialist placed a scope down Steve's nose to get a good look at his swollen throat. Luckily for us, it wasn't to the point of sending him to the OR. However, Steve would be placed in the ICU overnight as a precautionary. I was assured that he would be okay. He was given an IV to receive antibiotics and steroids for two days and not allowed to eat (in case they had to put him under). This was all so scary and I didn't have my partner to lean on because this time it was him that needed the help.
I kept thinking the same two things over and over. 1) Please let him be okay. 2) Thank God that I have the physical capabilities to have gotten myself here so I can be with him.
A year and a half ago I could not have parked in the hospital ramp and walked all that way. I was able to be by my husbands side when he needed me (even though he told me I didn't need to be there). I could go get the nurse when he needed something and I could just be there for him.
When I went home that Sunday night, I could tell I was getting a UTI. I called my OB and she sent me to the maternity assessment center at a nearby hospital for lab work. I was exhausted from the unbelievable stressful day I had just had. All I wanted to do was try and get some rest. In times past, it would have been Steve to take me to where I needed to be. I didn't have him though. All I had was myself, but that was okay this time. I had to get there on my own and thanks to my new medication, I could do it on my own (tears and all).
I'm not sure how I would have handled this weekend if I was not on my new medication. The stress of it all would have made my muscles even more unmanageable than ever before. I am blessed in so many ways: my husband is alive and safe and I know that I can take care of him as he has always done for me. Thank you God for these wonderful gifts.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
A Hiker's Christmas
I hope everyone had an enjoyable Christmas and were able to spend the day with family and/or friends. I got an early start to my day. In fact, the girls were up just a little after six am. They enjoyed opening gifts from me and Steve and of course Santa. Steve and I don't always exchange gifts, but did this year.
As I opened my gift from Steve I was a little off guard because the bag was from a sporting goods store. This is my 35th Christmas and I have never received any sport type gift in my life. I couldn't imagine what could be in it. To my surprise the gift included hiking socks, hiker's back pack and special hiking sticks. Never in a million years would I have asked for or even wanted these items for the obvious reasons. My how things have changed.
One of the activities that Steve and I enjoy doing together is hiking. We have hiked two of the Apostle Islands near Bayfield, Wi and the unforgettable ten mile hike of Pictured Rocks in Munising, MI. I was so proud of myself for completing these two hikes that I bought a patch from the each of these National Parks to remember these long walks by. Being able to see beautiful scenes by foot is an amazing experience. It is so much better than by car. In fact, we are looking forward to many more years of exploring God's great land.
As I looked at my Christmas gift, Steve told me that I should sew my patches onto the backpack. I nodded in agreement and told him that can't believe that this was a gift that I would be able to use. My whole life I struggled to walk just a few feet at a time. Now, I'm able to walk miles at a time with Steve and our daughters. I didn't just receive a great hiking gift today, I received another day of mobility and Independence. I love my life and can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring!
Happy Holidays!
As I opened my gift from Steve I was a little off guard because the bag was from a sporting goods store. This is my 35th Christmas and I have never received any sport type gift in my life. I couldn't imagine what could be in it. To my surprise the gift included hiking socks, hiker's back pack and special hiking sticks. Never in a million years would I have asked for or even wanted these items for the obvious reasons. My how things have changed.
One of the activities that Steve and I enjoy doing together is hiking. We have hiked two of the Apostle Islands near Bayfield, Wi and the unforgettable ten mile hike of Pictured Rocks in Munising, MI. I was so proud of myself for completing these two hikes that I bought a patch from the each of these National Parks to remember these long walks by. Being able to see beautiful scenes by foot is an amazing experience. It is so much better than by car. In fact, we are looking forward to many more years of exploring God's great land.
As I looked at my Christmas gift, Steve told me that I should sew my patches onto the backpack. I nodded in agreement and told him that can't believe that this was a gift that I would be able to use. My whole life I struggled to walk just a few feet at a time. Now, I'm able to walk miles at a time with Steve and our daughters. I didn't just receive a great hiking gift today, I received another day of mobility and Independence. I love my life and can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring!
Happy Holidays!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Busy Busy
I am really looking forward to the kids winter break from school. We won't have to run out the door to all of the activities (basketball, girl scouts, church classes, etc.) The girls can play with friends and we can just have fun together. It's really hard to believe how much our lives have changed all because of my correct diagnosis.
A year and a half ago, I only left the house if someone was taking ME somewhere! I was home all day long and couldn't do much other than sit and watch television. Steve would always make sure to get me out of the house on the weekend with some type of activity (Costco run or having dinner out). My mom would take me to the gym a couple days during the week and that saved my life. Not only did I need the strength training, but I needed the social interaction.
Now, all I do is run the kids here and there. All I can really think is, "I'm so glad I can do it." They were not able to be this involved in so many activities before, because of me. I know that I was a good mom then, but now I feel like a Super Mom. More often than not, when I'm taking Sharon to basketball she will ask me, "Mom, do you remember when you couldn't drive at night?" To that I normally answer, "I will never forget that."
When I began taking my new medication over a year ago, I had two fears:
1) What if this medication doesn't work forever. I can't live a normal life and go back to the way I used to be.
2) I don't EVER want to forget how challenging my life use to be, because it's necessary that I appreciate every little gift that is given to me.
I hope you will take time out of your busy day to count your blessings. I think you'll be surprised with how many you have. I know I am.
A year and a half ago, I only left the house if someone was taking ME somewhere! I was home all day long and couldn't do much other than sit and watch television. Steve would always make sure to get me out of the house on the weekend with some type of activity (Costco run or having dinner out). My mom would take me to the gym a couple days during the week and that saved my life. Not only did I need the strength training, but I needed the social interaction.
Now, all I do is run the kids here and there. All I can really think is, "I'm so glad I can do it." They were not able to be this involved in so many activities before, because of me. I know that I was a good mom then, but now I feel like a Super Mom. More often than not, when I'm taking Sharon to basketball she will ask me, "Mom, do you remember when you couldn't drive at night?" To that I normally answer, "I will never forget that."
When I began taking my new medication over a year ago, I had two fears:
1) What if this medication doesn't work forever. I can't live a normal life and go back to the way I used to be.
2) I don't EVER want to forget how challenging my life use to be, because it's necessary that I appreciate every little gift that is given to me.
I hope you will take time out of your busy day to count your blessings. I think you'll be surprised with how many you have. I know I am.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Holliday Greetings!
The holidays are here yet again. I am here to remind you to slow down and take time to appreciate all the little things. This time of year can be so stressful, so take a deep breath and thank God for all that you are able to do.
This Christmas season feels a bit different for me. I did all of my own Christmas shopping. That means that I drove myself to all of the stores, parked far from the door and had to deal with the busy isles. This is something that I had to have my mom help me with in years past and I had to park in the handicap spaces. Not this year!!!
I am even done with all of my wrapping. In all the years past, my mom wrapped all of the gifts because my hands didn't allow me to cut with scissors or rip the scotch tape off of the dispenser. Don't get me wrong I accepted my moms help to wrap all the kids gifts this year, but I joined her. I stood at her kitchen table and we wrapped all the gifts together. Yes, I said it, "I stood while wrapping gifts!"
This weekend, I'm looking forward to baking cookies all afternoon with my daughters and nieces. Baking cookies was never easy for me for so many reasons. This year will be so different and I can't wait to giggle in my mom's kitchen with these six wonderful girls.
I must add that I'm doing all these things as a pregnant woman who feels nausea nearly all day long. So, on that note try not to get too crabby this holiday season and be happy for ALL of the gifts that are not under your tree, but are there all year long.
This Christmas season feels a bit different for me. I did all of my own Christmas shopping. That means that I drove myself to all of the stores, parked far from the door and had to deal with the busy isles. This is something that I had to have my mom help me with in years past and I had to park in the handicap spaces. Not this year!!!
I am even done with all of my wrapping. In all the years past, my mom wrapped all of the gifts because my hands didn't allow me to cut with scissors or rip the scotch tape off of the dispenser. Don't get me wrong I accepted my moms help to wrap all the kids gifts this year, but I joined her. I stood at her kitchen table and we wrapped all the gifts together. Yes, I said it, "I stood while wrapping gifts!"
This weekend, I'm looking forward to baking cookies all afternoon with my daughters and nieces. Baking cookies was never easy for me for so many reasons. This year will be so different and I can't wait to giggle in my mom's kitchen with these six wonderful girls.
I must add that I'm doing all these things as a pregnant woman who feels nausea nearly all day long. So, on that note try not to get too crabby this holiday season and be happy for ALL of the gifts that are not under your tree, but are there all year long.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Living the Dream
As a little girl and teenager I always told myself and others that I didn't want children. That was not true and I knew that deep down inside. The truth was that I wanted to have three children because I came from a wonderful family with two siblings. I wanted the same thing, but didn't know if it was possible. I didn't want to let myself down.
When I was 25 I was blessed with a baby girl. The problem was that my pregnancy was so physically demanding for someone suffering with Spastic Dipigia (I talk about this more in my book). I didn't know if I could live through another pregnancy. However, I knew that I could not let my daughter be an only child either. So, we had another baby two years later.
The two pregnancies put such a toll on my body that I knew that a family of four would have to be good enough. The family with three children could no longer be my dream and the smiles, hugs and laughter from my two girls would be wonderful.
I am now 35 years old and the life I used to live is no longer mine. It's better! At times, I'm not sure whose body I'm living in. I can do things that I never thought imaginable such as walking with ease, driving at night, cooking, cleaning and so much more. I'm living out some of my childhood dreams that I never thought possible, including having the third child. Yes, I am elated to tell you that Steve and I are going to have baby #3 in May.
So far this pregnancy is a piece of cake compared to the first two I endured. Don't get me wrong I'm still sick every day, but I don't need to be taken care of. Instead, I am still able to take care of my family and understand what my friends' pregnancies were like. More importantly, I have discovered how strong of a woman I was to not only live through a terrible pregnancy once, but to do it all again so Winona wouldn't be an only child. I have to be honest, as I look back I don't know how I did it.
When I was 25 I was blessed with a baby girl. The problem was that my pregnancy was so physically demanding for someone suffering with Spastic Dipigia (I talk about this more in my book). I didn't know if I could live through another pregnancy. However, I knew that I could not let my daughter be an only child either. So, we had another baby two years later.
The two pregnancies put such a toll on my body that I knew that a family of four would have to be good enough. The family with three children could no longer be my dream and the smiles, hugs and laughter from my two girls would be wonderful.
I am now 35 years old and the life I used to live is no longer mine. It's better! At times, I'm not sure whose body I'm living in. I can do things that I never thought imaginable such as walking with ease, driving at night, cooking, cleaning and so much more. I'm living out some of my childhood dreams that I never thought possible, including having the third child. Yes, I am elated to tell you that Steve and I are going to have baby #3 in May.
So far this pregnancy is a piece of cake compared to the first two I endured. Don't get me wrong I'm still sick every day, but I don't need to be taken care of. Instead, I am still able to take care of my family and understand what my friends' pregnancies were like. More importantly, I have discovered how strong of a woman I was to not only live through a terrible pregnancy once, but to do it all again so Winona wouldn't be an only child. I have to be honest, as I look back I don't know how I did it.
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