The Gift

At eight p.m. I found myself driving to Target to get a birthday gift for my nephew.  As I was walking into the store, I couldn't help but smile.  I was never able to drive in the evening because by nighttime, my body was immobile   Even though I had a crazy busy day, I feel incredibly blessed that I could run one more errand before the sun went down.  So, when Jack opens his DS game tomorrow evening he will be happy that he has a new game and I will be thrilled that I could go get it all by myself!

Happy 10th Birthday Jack
I love you!!!

Goodbye Couch Potato

For the past 30 some years my evenings consisted of sitting on the couch and reading to my girls and watching television.  Tonight was a new night.  In 15 minutes, I did 50 sit ups and 1 1/2 miles on the elliptical.  Sure, it would have been easier and more entertaining to find out who will get a rose on The Bachelorettee, but I'm going to take what the good Lord has given me and start doing cardio exercise daily.  I hope you will do the same.  

Preferred Parking

Sharon and I ran a couple errands this afternoon.  I parked my car, and helped Sharon out of the backseat.  As we walked hand in had through the parking lot we passed a handicap parking space.  Sharon asked me why the spot was so much larger than all the other spaces.   I explained that many people with disabilities need to open their car door all the way to make it easier to get in and out of their car.  I couldn't help but ask her if she remembers me parking in spots just like that.  Her response was a simple, "No."

It wasn't that long ago that a handicap parking space was necessary for me.  I had to open my car door all the way to hoist myself out and walking more than a few steps to the store doors was unthinkable.  So, here I am today elated, not only that I am capable of returning items to West Marine and  Target by myself, but that it doesn't matter that the only parking spots on this Sunday afternoon are clear across the lot.  

I guess what I'm trying to say is we shouldn't complain that someone just stole the last close parking space.  Chances are that when you get older, you will need to use that handicap parking space and you'll look back and remember how good you had it when you had to walk a long distance in the cold rain.

Taking Care of Myself

Everyday that I am able to step into the shower I feel blessed.  Bathing has always been a chore that did not come easily and often ended with me asking for help.  Not until recently, I always had to wash my hair in the sink because my balance didn't allow me to do the task standing in the shower.  I would depend on my mom or my husband to wash my hair for me.

Showering independently is one of those things that I'm sure many people take for granted.  It was always one of those things that I dreaded, but now I can do it without anticipating my next step in the process.  I can stand in the shower and not worry about whether I will fall and hurt myself.  I am actually to the point that I can see why many enjoy showering after a long stressful day. It's funny that I never knew it could be relaxing, not to mention a break from the kiddos!

Martial Arts

When I was a little girl I was never in sports for the obvious reason.  If  I couldn't stand still for more than a few seconds, if at all, there is no way that I could dribble a basketball down the court, slide into home plate or run hurdles in track.  That's why it is really hard for me to believe that I have joined Steve and the girls in their Martial Arts class on Wednesday nights.

My supportive, optimistic instructor new me when I was unable to walk and depended on my scooter to get around.  I'm sure that's why he is so patient and understanding while I have been learning to stand on one leg and attempt kicks.  At the end of every class I have a very strong sense of accomplishment.  Tonight was no different.

This evening we worked on defending ourselves if some one attacks us and gets our back to the ground.  Steve and I were paired up and I was pinned to the ground.  Our instructor walked me though what to do, and in the end I had my legs wrapped around Steve's neck, squeezing it as hard as I could.  I had such a mix of emotions.  I couldn't help but giggle, because of the obvious, but I realized how far I have come this past year.

Just over a year ago, my legs didn't allow me to stand on my own.  They were weak and unreliable.  Now here I am gaining strength, little by little trying to take my husband down in Martial Arts.  I am actually participating in a sport.  Not just any sport...Martial Arts.

A Good Reminder

Days like today are a great way for me to remember where I have come from.  It's also a good way to remind myself that it is essential that I get an adequate night of sleep and stay as stress free as possible.  Last night I only got a a handful of good sleeping hours.  If I don't get at least nine hours of sleep I really notice that my hamstrings become stiff and sore.  Don't get me wrong.  It's not nearly as bad as it was before my new diagnosis.  However, after a poor nights sleep I really notice that my balance is off and my limbs are fidgety. That's when I take a good look in the mirror and tell myself to slow down and listen to my body!

My brain doesn't produce Dopamine like "normal" people.  Our brains make Dopamine while we sleep and my brain doesn't seem to do what it should.  Therefore, it is out of necessity that I get a long nights rest AND take my medication.

In the past if I got a bad nights rest like this, I would need to spend most of my day propped up in a chair or simply go to bed.  I never knew any thing different.  It was just a way of life for me.  In fact, even if I did get adequate rest, my brain still did not produce enough Dopamine to last me the day.  My body would become more spastic and weaker as the day went on.  Leaving me dependent on others.

In my new life, I know that I need to take a nap the day after a poor nights rest.  It's not because my eyes are tired.  It's because if I don't rest, my arms will twitch, my balance will be off and my legs tight. Life is a gift and  I need to take care of myself.  After all,  I'll take a physically bad day of my "new life" over any really good day of my "old life."

I'm a Little Teapot

Sharon is always ready to point out if I'm doing something new.  This afternoon was no different.  She turned on some silly preschool music.  When "I'm a Little Tea Pot" began to play, I jumped off the couch and grabbed her hands and began twirling her around.  When the verse, "tip me over and pour me out" was sung, I lifted her off of the ground and held her upside down as though she was the teapot.  It was fun to hear her giggle because of something I did.  I began spinning her around in circles until the song was over.  When I placed her safely back onto her own two feet she immediately informed my that, "You could have never done that before."

At the end of the day, it's the little things in life that matter the most to me.  It's spending time with my daughters.  In the past, I was never able to take them on a walk or swing them around while dancing.  Quality time with my daughters consisted of playing games together, coloring or just watching a movie together.  Those are all important as well.  I believe that when they are grown with children of there own they will remember that Mom did fun things with them.  Chances are their most important memories with me will be the little things that we did together at home not big trips to Disney etc.  As I become more busy, it's critical that I take time to show my daughters how much I love them.  They are a gift from God and out of all them moms in the world, God chose me to be their mother.  I'm not going to waste His gift to me!